White Reflection


The Nimue
The doctors stood around the transparent cylinder, studying the outputs across a dozen monitors.  The intensive gene therapy was theoretically doing its job, but they couldn’t be completely sure.  Years of hard living had been erased from his frame, and the process was still ongoing.  One of the most exciting prospects for the doctors had been his missing limb.  The bones had started to regrow and musculature was filling in around them.  If the process continued, he might even get back the whole arm.  Not everything had gone according to plan though.  His hair had already changed colors three different times, and his eyes had changed color once.  The Necrosiac flare effect in his eyes hadn’t subsided, and every time they blinked open, the flash of green fire lit them up.

“How is he?” The tired voice asked from the chair across the small chamber. 

“It is hard to tell, the Necrosiac Storm has dissipated with the genetic therapy, but I am uncertain how well his synapses will reknit as the process continues.  We were able to start treatment quickly, but I am not sure what the effect this will have on his memory.”

“Physical side effects?”

“Hair, eyes, and skin keep changing coloration, but we are administering additional therapies to halt that process.” 

“Is he healing?”

“The scars are being replaced by new tissues and in effect it is erasing the stress his body has gone through over his long life.” 

“Is there a limit to the extent of this physical renewal?”

“We have limited the therapeutic application to make him a similar age match to you, Star Colonel.” 

“That will get rid of the head start he has on the growing old together race he has on me…” 

“Ma’am?”  The doctor looked up at her.

“Nothing, Wilson, just an old woman thinking out loud.”  She smiled up at the doctor and adjusted the tiny human sleeping on her shoulder. 

“There is nothing else you can do right now, Ma’am.  Perhaps you and Vara should get some rest?” 

“That sounds like a good idea, Wilson.” 

‘if anything changes, I will let you know immediately.” 

“Wilson, you are a good man.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

She lifted Vara and walked the two of them back to the quarters she shared with her husband.  She laid Vara down in her crib and smiled as she stretched her tiny arms out and wrapped around her stuffed bear.  She was already big, and Amelia was sure that was Ivan’s genes shining through.  She had his white hair, but her face was all Amelia.  She had her mother’s nose, her cheeks, and even her chin.  Ivan always would joke how happy he was that she had taken after her mother rather than her father.  The memory brought a smile to her face and a tear rolling down her cheek. 

She lifted the picture off the night stand and smiled again.  That picture had been taken on Outreach, at his beach house right after they had left Zathras for the last time.  Had it really been twenty years already?  Damn, time had flown.  Those were happy times together, once he finally let down his last walls and told her who he was…what he was.  It had been a tale for the ages, the first time he had explained where he was from and who his people were. 

Ultimately, he had shown her everything about his life, taken her in, broken most of his cultural traditions to make her as much a part of his world as he could.  She didn’t mind the secrecy, didn’t mind the lies they had to tell casual acquaintances.  She’d had Kade to confide in, and eventually Whisper figured out what was going on.  She had real friends to share that secret with, but being with him never made it feel like a burden.  He had never treated her like a burden, and that was something she cherished about the time they had spent together.

She changed into her night gown and laid down in their bed, and she keenly felt the absence of his giant frame laying next to hers.  She sniffed his pillow, catching a whiff of his scent before she slipped the earbuds in.  she hit play on the tiny tablet and laid back.  She smiled again as she heard his voice “Hello, my dearest Amelia.”  His deep sonorous voice reverberated through her, shook her everytime. 

“I know I am travelling a lot right now, and I humbly offer my surkai that we could not go together.  I hope that this serves to remind you how much I love you and the depths of my devotion to you, my beloved.”  Even his love notes were formal, stiff things like you would expect to see from the desk of an introverted person who really never quite got used to people.  She heard the music start and let herself sink deep into that memory… “I keep a close watch on this heart of mine…”  she remembered sitting in that dropship with Kade, and Nikolai and the rest of them after they had escaped from that prison.  Vara, Ivan’s sister was playing the piano and Henry was playing guitar.

It was just the few of them. The mercs she’d hired to pull that job and Henry’s people who’d shown up to rescue them sitting there, listening to him play.  He’d been struggling after Misery, his world had fallen apart.  Somehow they had found each other and this song reminded her of that moment, when their eyes met across the bay of that dropship.  They’d had sex before that of course, but this was the first time she felt more than a passing attraction.  She’d had no idea what he was capable of, what he could do. 

He surprised her every chance he got, sending her little recordings of music and stories and dozens of other things.  Even after Vara had died over Zathras, he kept finding a way to try and bring them together.  They’d been together for almost ten years before he’d asked her to marry him.  With his culture it seemed like a thing that could not happen, but one night she had come home and he was waiting for her on one knee, with the ring sitting in his hand.  She’d said yes, but it took her breath away.  She never thought in a million years it would cross his mind.  It was a ‘quaint cultural tradition that the clans had forsaken centuries ago’ he’d told her dozens of times.  The playlist cycled to the next song, and she let the music walk her back down the fun times they’d had. 

Then things changed again, when Kade and Nikolai left, and they had taken Jaxun and Mackenzie in.  Ivan had been so serious, so afraid of upsetting the life they’d built together that he could barely talk his way through that conversation.  She loved those kids, like they were her own.  After everything they’d done together, it was nice to have people around their house.  They’d had to change up the way they did things, and Amelia chuckled at the memory of watching Ivan adjust to trying to be a parent.  He was nurturing in his own way, but he did not relate well to children.  Given his upbringing as a trueborn, she had been surprised by how hard he had worked to take care of those two kids.  By the time they were ready for the academy, she was sure he would have risked everything for them…in fact he had, just a few years later…

The conversation about having a baby of their own had come up out of nowhere.  One day he had just walked in and asked her, like he was asking about the weather.  It had been a hell of a conversation starter…They had spent a lot of time being checked out by his doctors, making sure that they were still capable of having a baby, which was a concern for her at his age.  He didn’t look it, but he was pushing seventy years old hard, and while everything worked, they had been concerned about fertility. 

Thankfully, those fears had been for nothing, and about a year after that conversation they had a beautiful baby girl, Vara.  She let out a happy sigh and looked over at her sleeping baby.  The last song in the playlist always made her cry, but she leaned into that feeling today.  “Can’t say how the days will unfold…”  his voice lit up her sense and she cried softly.

“You promised you’d come running home to me, husband.  You always keep your promises, now come home, I need you…we all need you.”               


Terra…

“You will tell me everything you know about the clans, traitor.”  The feminine voice was edged with malice, and it droned into his ears.  He was restrained, with his feet bolted down to the chair he was sitting in and something attached to his waist.  He knew that voice, but he couldn’t place it.

“I do not know what you are talking about…” He shook his head, trying to clear the fog  from his mind. 

“You are a clan officer, do not try to hide this from us.  You have already admitted as much to me.  Tell us everything you know about the clans, traitor.” 

“I am no traitor.”  He tried to blink his eyes rapidly to clear the obstruction, to try and see again. 

“You are a traitor to the Star League, to its highest ideal, you are a traitor to your own god damned people.”  The voice got closer.

“If you are going to torture me, you should probably get started.”  None of this made any sense, nothing made sense right now.

“You are an astonishingly tough individual.  I doubt your daughter is anywhere near so resilient.”  The voice echoed in his ears. 

“You touch my daughter and I will kill you.” 

“Big talk from a one armed traitor.” 

“I promise you, I will end you.” 

“You always keep your promises don’t you?” The voice was behind him, almost inside his ear.  He heard a mechanical whirring sound and his eyes started to open.  He didn’t know what was going on, his brain wouldn’t make sense of it.  Vara, his daughter was older, she must have been a teenager.  Something had happened, she had a prosthetic arm, some kind of bionic that he had never seen the like of before. 

She was strapped to a table, and mechanical arms were circling the table, reaching it in at her.  Cruel claws tore into her skin.  “Daddy, why won’t you save me?” She screamed past the tears and the pain.
The voice in his ear came just too close and he reached out with his 
good arm, pulling the body it was attached to closer into his reach.  He felt bones crunch under his fingers and the body went limp in his hand.  “I promised you I would kill you.”  He smiled with grim satisfaction as he laid the woman out on the table in front of him.  His smile turned to ash in his mouth.

Amelia, dressed in a Comstar robe.  That had been the voice, that’s why he thought he had recognized it.  She looked up at him, her eyes falling out of focus.  “Traitor…” The words died on her lips, and he felt the tears running down his cheeks. 

“Daddy, you have to save me…”  Vara’s voice echoed through his ears. 

“I will fix this…” He pleaded with his wife’s corpse.  With an anguished scream he pulled apart the chair he was restrained to .  He found the keycard and swiped the door open.  He carried Amelia over his shoulder, quietly exiting the room. He had to find Vara, he had to save her…

He crept through the corridors, finding seemingly empty rooms for hours but he would not stop searching.  Finally he came to a door bathed in red light.  He used the keycard and swiped the door open.  He wished he hadn’t.  Scattered around the room were bodies.  Harlan, Constance, Faith, all the other Seekers who had worked with him on their grand mission.  Mackenzie and Jaxun were both dead, though they had been horribly mangled by something.  All of his friends, even Henry, were scattered around the room, bits and pieces of bodies everywhere.  Vara was bloodied, laying on that table. 

“I am here for you, daughter.”  He finally managed to exhale. 

“Excellent Father.”  She sat up on the table and stared through him.  

“Did you get angry and kill mommy?”

“I…I didn’t know.”

“Oh, deep down you always knew.  How could a woman, any woman, fall in love with a freak like you?”  Her voice had a mechanical edge to it.

“Vara, what happened to you?”

“I saw the light, and was restored by it.  My faith was tested, and I was not found wanting.  Now you are going to tell me exactly what I want to know, and when we are done, I will give you permission to die.”  She slid off the table and was standing in front of him.  The Comstar white robe had been stained red with blood. 

“Why?” 

“Because you are my father, and because I love you.  If you tell me what I want to know, I will make it a swift death, for you have earned that, monster.” 

“How could I have let this happen?” He begged her.

“Perhaps if you had cared for me as much as your other wayward children, you might have saved me from your legacy.”  Her fingers wrapped around the top of his shoulder.  “But you always cared about them more than me.  It’s all right, I found a new daddy, a new Master to serve.” 

“What?”

“And his name is Apollyon, and he is the Hand of the Master.  We are the Will of the Blessed Blake, and we are the Saviors of Humanity…”

“No…”

“Shall we start now, Daddy?” 

The Nimue

“He’s having another dream…” One of the doctors said quietly to the other two. 

“I wonder what he’s dreaming about.”

“Judging by these readings, It’s a nightmare.”  The third doctor said quietly.  “He’s crying again.”

“All we can do is hope he perseveres through this.  I hope his mind is intact when he recovers.”

“That is what we all hope.” 


The three doctors went back to their consoles, administering treatments and attempting to fix something they could not understand.  Ivan remained inside his own personal hell, desperate to escape.  


Terra

The warning Klaxon brought Ivan back to awareness.  He looked around, trying to figure out where he was, what was happening.  He heard a voice call out from the other room.  “Dad, shut your alarm clock off.”  He shook the fog out of his mind, and finally found the source of the offending noise.  Very carefully, very precisely he pushed the off switch with a gnarled finger.  He stared at the back of his hands, trying to figure out what had happened.

“Good work, Dad.  Put on your robe and come down to breakfast.”  The voice called out to him again.  He was certain he didn’t like the tone of her voice, but couldn’t remember from where.  He slipped the oversized robe onto his frame and pulled the tie shut.  He slid on a pair of slippers and started to make his way down the stairs.  

He could smell something cooking, but couldn’t place it. 
Two tiny faces greeted him from a large dining table.  They were young, couldn’t have been more than six or seven.  They both waved and went back to their breakfast, happily munching away.  The voice that had called to him earlier appeared from out of nowhere (the kitchen actually), and put a plate down on the table in front of an oversized chair. 

“Good Morning, Dad.” She smiled up at him and put a glass of orange juice on the table next to the plate.

“Good morning, daughter.”  He answered her slowly. 

“You can’t remember my name can you?” She asked him quietly.  He searched his mind, trying to find the answer, but shook his head slowly, a tear rolling down his cheek.  “It’s okay Dad, the doctors said at your age, a little bit of cognitive degeneration was going to happen.”

“Where is your mother?”  He asked her quietly.

“Malcolm is on his way to the spaceport to pick her up.  She had to visit Luna to pick up something for the party.”

“Malcolm?”

“Your son, Malcolm.”

“Where is Vara?”

“At the capital, serving with the RAF.  She’s currently working on a procurement report.  She’ll be here for the party.” 

“I still can’t remember your name.”

“I am Amelia.  Amelia Kirov.  Technically your third daughter, fourth child.”

“What?” 

“Annabelle is technically older than Vara, and since you adopted her, she became the first born.  Then Vara, then Malcolm, then me.” 

“Who’s Annabelle?”

“The Goliath Scorpion Seeker Jaxun ended up marrying.”  She patted the chair, and he sat down slowly. 


“I am so confused.” 

“It’s okay, Dad.  You earned the right to be a little confused.  Your birthday party is tonight, dad.”

“I don’t celebrate a birthday.”

“You are technically correct, but Mom got sick of you not officially getting older so she assigned you a birthday.  I know, you tried a trial of refusal and lost.  Today is your 110th Birthday.” 

“Happy Birthday, Grandpa.”  The children said quietly. 

“Thank you…I think.” 

“Is everyone safe?”  He asked quietly.

“You got us through it, Dad.  The battle of Tukkayyid, Task Force Bull Dog, the Great Refusal, the Civil War, The Jihad, the Zathran Restoration.  You kept the family together.”

“Oh…okay.”  He couldn’t remember any of those battles…

“It’s okay, Dad.  Let us take care of you now.  Devlin wanted to appoint you a Paladin of the Republic, but Mom said no.  She was just happy you were both alive after the war ended.  We are here, on Terra.  For the first time in a long time, there is peace, Dad.”

He nodded slowly, trying to take everything in.  This wasn’t so bad a life.  

The Dire Wolf
Radstadt. October 31st, 3050

“It is good to see you again, my old friend.”  Ivan said with a smile.
Nikolai poured the scotch for both of them and smiled back.  “It is good to have you back where you belong, my friend.” 
Ivan took the glass and tasted the liquor.  “We should not be drinking, quiaff?  We have a briefing for the Ilkhan in the morning.”

“A Little Scotch never hurt a briefing, Ivan.”

“True enough…” The klaxons started to sound across the ship…something was wrong. “We have to get to the Bridge.”  Ivan sprang to his feet.

“Why?”

“I do not entirely know, but something serious is happening.”  The ship was wracked by impacts, they were under attack by someone!  The two officers dashed through the hallways.  Wolf Elementals tried to step into Ivan’s path but Nikolai ordered them back to their positions.  They were under attack by an Aerospace Fighter squadron.  Something had jumped in system and loosed the fighters.  From what they could hear, the jumpship was hastily preparing to jump back out.  The fighters were on suicide runs.

The Dire Wolf was the pride of the Star League Navy as the SLS Kharkov, and had been in continuous service with Clan Wolf since the founding of the clans.  The ship was tough, and she was launching her own fighters to try and cover the ship from the attack.  That was still not happening yet.  In these few minutes, the ship was vulnerable.  They arrived on the bridge in the middle of another attack run.  The fighters were selling themselves dearly, trying to buy time for the Jumpship to make its escape. 

“Status Update, Star Admiral!”  The Ilkhan roared. 

“Eight fighters left in the attack group, they appear to be running out of ammunition.  They are low on fuel.  Conventional wisdom says they are going to retreat to their carrier.” 

“Did you get an Identification code on those fighters?”  Ivan asked the Star Admiral.

“First Drakons, Galaxy Commander.”

“Do you know these warriors, Galaxy Commander?”

“Aff, they are assigned to the personal protection of the Elected Prince of the Free Rasalhague Republic.  Their commander is Cnut Bernadotte.” 

“I believe he was killed in the first attack run.” 

“They will not back down, we will have to kill them to the last fighter while the Prince is in danger.” 

“Surely these Surats are not so dangerous, quineg?”  Leo Showers asked him with a sneering smile.  The proximity warning sounded across the bridge and then all hell broke loose.  The impact shook the superstructure and the bridge was in the middle of collapsing in on itself.  One of the fighters had rammed into the bridge.  Ivan had pushed Nikolai out of the way, and one of the wolf Bondsman was pulling the Precentor Martial off the bridge.  The ilkhan’s body was crushed under the weight of a console.  Time seemed to stand still for Ivan, and he thought he heard someone clapping.

“Well done, my sibkin.  You have killed the Illkhan without getting your hands dirty.” 

Ivan turned his eyes to the voice and took a step back.  “Vara, you can not be here.  You died.”

“Aff, twenty some odd years ago over the planet Zathras.”

“Then how are you here?”

“Well, my sweet sib, you have been fighting a battle in your own mind for the better part of the last month.  Your doctors have put you into a coma while you recover, and you are coming to a point where you have to make a decision.”

“A decision?  What are you talking about?”

“Your body has mended…but you can choose whether or not you come back from this.”

“Speak plainly.”

“Do you want to live?  Or are you ready to die?”

“I…”

“Were you a Christian, this visitation might take the form of an angel, come to collect one of the flock.  You’ve lived a long, plentiful life, Ivan.  You have won honor and glory on the battlefield since you were old enough to fight.  Lay down your burdens, come home with me.” 

“What about Amelia?”

“She will soldier on, taking care of the baby.  Vara will grow up hearing about the wonderful father she never got to meet.” 

“I have things that are left undone.”

“Others will pick up where you left off.  Rest, Sib.  Lay down your weary head and die with me.  It is long past time for you to be in a grave.”  Her voice echoed in his ears. 

The Nimue

“Vitals are crashing!”  one of the Doctors said firmly.  The medical monitors flared to life in a dozen different colors. 

“Get him out of the tank, the therapy has done its work.” 

“We have to get him breathing again.”  The third doctor said firmly. 

The tank emptied of the biological gel and they laid him down on the gurney.  One of the doctors applied the trauma patch to his chest and shocked his heart.  The warrior’s eyes opened and his left hand shot out, grabbing the doctor by her neck.  His eyes pulsed with green lightning and he looked around at the rest of them.  “Status update.”  He said slowly.

Ivan’s quarters

Amelia sat up in her bed, trying to figure out what was wrong.  Something felt out of place.  She looked over and Vara was missing from her crib.  She grabbed the pistol from the night stand and moved deeper into Ivan’s office.  The light was on low in there, and she thought she heard Ivan’s voice.  He was laying on the floor of the office, playing gently with Vara on the giant animal skin rug that filled the room. 

“That’s my little girl.”  He teased her gently with one of his massive fingers, and she cooed under his touch.  She grabbed at his hand, wrapping her tiny fingers around his much larger one.  Her eyes lit up as she watched his eyes move, seeing the tiny sparkles of green lightning reflected back at her.  She let out a giant yawn and collapsed against his arm.  “That’s okay little one, you sleep.  Daddy has you.”  He looked up at Amelia and smiled.  Amelia let out a choked sigh and put the pistol down. 

“Ivan…” She choked back tears and sat down next to him.  He slipped the other arm around her and held both of them.

“I am so sorry, Amelia.”

“For what?”

“Almost leaving you alone in this universe.”

“Did the Necrosia help?”

“It gave me a path, but I can not walk that path anymore.  I can’t take another dose of Necrosia.” 

“Ivan, why are you using contractions?”

“Am I not supposed to?  I will endeavor not to do so again.”

“It’s not that, it’s just I have never heard you use them before.”

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”  She leaned over and kissed the side of his neck. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired, sore, I have gaps in my memory.  Things I do not remember.” 

“We can work on that.”  She smiled softly.

“I know.”  He smiled back.

“What is going on with your eyes?”  She watched the lightning flash across them again and shook her head.

“Side effect of the Necrosiac decontamination.  It lit up my optic nerves, and occasionally they flash with energy.  It does not hurt, but it is distracting to the people around me.” Vara had wrapped herself around her father’s arm and he tucked her in against his stomach. 

“You may need sunglasses, pretty boy.”

“I might at that.”  He leaned over and kissed her softly.  “I have been thinking.”

“That is never a good way to start a conversation with you.”

“I want you to take my name, if you want it.”

“What about the integrity of your bloodhouse?”  She had been more than a little irritated when they had discussed names before the marriage.

“If you would prefer, I will take yours with a hyphen.” 

“What has gotten into you?” 

“Life.  I have spent too much of mine tied to traditions and beliefs of a people I have not seen in too long.  I do not…I don’t like this feeling.  I have questions about everything.  I want to spend my life with you.”  He kissed her again.  “I want to make another one of these little ones, if you want.”  He softly rubbed Vara’s back and she let out a gentle burp. 

“I think we can certainly try to have another baby.”  She smiled and let out a long yawn.  “Come on, old man, take me back to bed.” 

“Certainly, my beloved wife.”  He stood up, and the two of them walked back to the bedroom.  They put Vara back in her crib and Ivan pulled Amelia back into their bed.  She felt the absolute calm as his arms wrapped around her.  She nestled her back up against his chest and sighed gently.  “Amelia, tell me about the homeworlds."

“What homeworlds?”

“The Clan Homeworlds, Amelia.”

“Ivan, I have never been to the homeworlds.”

“Oh…”

“Why?”

“I can not remember them.”

“Not at all?”

“Not even in the slightest.”

“We may have to work a little harder on getting your memory back.”  She rolled over and slipped her arms around him.  “What else are you having problems remembering?”

“Why did we name our daughter Vara?” 


“Oh, honey…”

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