The Boys are back in Town



Ivan let out a low sigh and tried to calm himself down from the day he’d had.  He had not expected to see Jamie at the Space Port, nor had he expected Mackenzie and Jaxun to have a wrestling match in the middle of the space port.  Amelia was still off world, running down something with Henry’s wife, Whisper.  He knew he had heard her actual given name at one point, but he could not for the life of him remember what it was.  For some reason Henry had wanted to meet here, near the Dragoon’s military academy.  The children from Zathras were safely at home in bed, with nearly  a dozen of his retainers watching them. 

Unbeknownst to either of them, this had become the new happening spot for students at the academy and Ivan’s usual table was filled with teenagers who had declared it their own personal space.  This was going to be the perfect end to a perfect day.  Heny shrugged his shoulders at him and they found another table closer to the center of the bar.  It wasn’t anywhere near where Ivan liked to sit and his mood was darkening. 

“Wow do you need some high potency alcohol my old friend.”  Henry smiled at him.  Henry was wearing a mechwarrior cooling jacket with an oversized leather jacket over it.  The waitress at least knew who they were and brought a bottle of scotch and two glasses over for them.  Henry ordered food.  Ivan was not in the mood for it.  “You have my eternal thanks for going to get Aya.”

“It was no trouble at all.  She is different than I remember her as a young girl.”

“Zathras spooked her a little, from what I can tell.  Something’s going on there that I can’t quite figure out.”  Henry answered him. 

“You could always go check it out yourself.” Ivan answered him.

“I made a promise to Leah, that I would not return unless I was summoned, and then I would be dropping the entire battalion on that god forsaken rock.’

Ivan downed his first scotch and poured himself a second.  “When did we become the old men, Henry?” 

“When we outlived the pretty ones, Ivan.”  He started in on his scotch.

“I am serious Henry.” 

“I know you are, but I need you to remember two things.”

“What are those?”
“That you and I have gotten each other out of more scrapes than most of these kids can ever imagine.  It takes time for that level of skill to develop.  Secondly, we can’t change how aging works.  We earned these scars and grey hairs by being the toughest, meanest sons of bitches to ever walk into a battlefield.  You need to learn to let other people celebrate your life with you.” 

“I have not seen my home in almost fifty years.  Time has just flown by.”  Ivan said with a smile. 

“Anytime you want to go home, we will go.” 

“I am afraid that door is closed.” 

“Ivan, I have been kicking in doors people have told me not to touch since I was sixteen.  I love you.  If you want to go, we will go home.” 

“I believe you.  Someday we may get the chance even.” 

“Damn right we will.”

“Jamie wants to have a meeting with me tomorrow.” 

“About what?” 

“I suspect it has something to do with the new academy.” 

“I am still not sure what he was thinking, opening a place like this here.” 

“He wanted an infrastructure to ensure that the Dragoons had access to the best and brightest talents in the mercenary trade.” 

“And the rest of us get to fight over the scraps?  Sure, that feels fair.”

“Even a C-student here can do just about anything you would expect them to be able to do.” 

“You say things like that like it’s supposed to make me feel better.” 

“Not all of us could attend Sandhurst.”  Ivan smirked at his friend.

“Not my fault I am a legacy.  Besides, we have both taught there.  It feels different than this place.” 

“I have not actually been back inside the academy grounds.” 

“What?  That’s crazy.”

“And yet it is still true.” 

A group of warriors pushed their way through the bar to the table where Henry and Ivan were sitting and Ivan sensed trouble through the half a bottle of scotch he’d consumed.  They were wearing Dragoon colors and seemed to be astonishingly upset about something. 

“You Henry Jones?”  The ‘leader’ of the pack snarled at them.  Ivan had noticed more warriors in dragoon colors filtering into the bar. 

“Yep, what can I do for you?”  Henry took a bite of the potato dish he was eating and looked up at the gathering storm. 

“You the same Henry Jones who took my sister out last month and got her pregnant?”

Henry, never being one to answer a question easily, ”Could you describe your sister?”

“You trying to be funny?”

“Not at all, I see so many wolf cubs from behind if you catch my meaning, they all start to look alike after a certain point.”

Ivan let out a hard laugh at that point and henry nodded at him.   The man turned to look at him and snarled.  “You think that’s funny, freak?” 

“Now, my vertically challenged friend here just loves you ‘goons, and if I had to put money on someone getting one of your bitches in the family way, it’d be this guy right here.”  Henry pointed with his thumb at Ivan.  Ivan was still laughing as Henry spoke and didn’t see the man throw the punch.  Ivan’s head recoiled from the impact briefly and his laughter stopped.  The entire bar went quiet as the grave for a moment. 
Henry, with the joyful glee of a child watching fireworks go off, saw the expression on Ivan’s face change as he processed the situation.  First the shock of being sucker punched, followed by a moment of confusion.  Then the shock turned to anger, and the anger turned into movement.  Ivan’s hand shot out as fast as Henry had ever seen it.  He certainly hadn’t lost a step.  Ivan’s fist connected with the man’s solar plexus and he dropped like a rock. 

One of the dragoons leapt over the table at Henry, but he tipped back in his chair and let the motion carry him backwards into the ground.  The man sailed over his head and Henry started to move again.  He let out a sad sigh as Ivan flipped the table over.  He was never going to finish those potato skins.  The pack of mechwarriors paused for a moment as Ivan stood to his full height.  He wiped the blood from his nose and nodded. 

“Congratulations, warriors, I am bleeding.  You can leave now, or you can get all kinds of hurt.”  Ivan was smiling.  Henry was smiling as he punched the guy that had lunged at him in the collar bone.  For good measure, he drove his elbow hard into the bone and he heard something snap.  He was hoping that wasn’t his elbow. 

To the Dragoos credit, they didn’t back off.  They tried to circle around Ivan, but the upturned table was preventing anyone from getting behind him.  Two of the mechwarriors charged in at Ivan, driving their shoulders into his torso.  Both made solid contact, and 

Ivan winced a little. Ivan’s knee came up so fast that the mechwarrior didn’t have time to register it crashing into his sternum.  With a sickening thud the man fell to the ground.  Ivan backhanded the other warrior away from him towards the bar.  The bartender looked up at Ivan and shook his head.  His hand went for the phone on the bar and Ivan nodded at him. 

He felt two sharp kicks into his side and his attention fell back on to the mechwarriors.  One of them had gone after Henry and he was busy trying to grapple him.  The woman who’d kicked him was pulling back out of his reach, moving into the midst of her companions.  Ivan let out an exhalation of air and just relaxed into the moment. 

This was something extremely familiar, comforting even.  Time felt like it slowed down and Ivan was in the middle of them, his clenched fist coming down hard in someone’s face.  He knew exactly what he was doing and he didn’t kill anyone, but in the span of heartbeats there was a wailing pile of broken humans circled around his feet.  One of the mechwarriors Henry had been dealing with pulled a knife out of his jacket and was moving faster than Ivan could react.  A heavy glass bottle came down on the man’s head, and he crumpled.  Henry and Ivan both turned to look at the bottle wielding assailant.

“Carter, what are you doing here?”  Henry asked him incredulously.

“I was meeting some people from school here, there was supposed to be an open mic night for poetry.” 

Henry and Ivan just laughed, and turned their attention back to the rest of the Dragoon mechwarriors.  Two of them were still standing, and both were starting to back away.  “Carter, you have two choices.  You can either run like hell now, and save yourself some trouble, or you can call your roommate and tell him you are going to miss class tomorrow.”  Henry sat down at the bar and poured himself another drink. 

“Why would I miss class tomorrow?”  Carter sat down on the chair next to him.

“Because, we are about to get arrested.”  Ivan answered his question.  “Again.”  He added with a smirk and leaned against the bar.  “IF you choose to stay, I will talk to your instructor.  If not, I understand.” 

“Wait, what?”

Harlech city police officers burst through the door, tasers ready.  

“Well, I guess I will have to speak with your instructor tomorrow.” 

“What, I’m being arrested?  I can’t get arrested, my mother will kill me!”

Henry finished his drink and put his hands up.  Ivan did likewise and saw the hesitation on the police officer’s face. 

“Jesus Christ, Ivan.  Again?”

“Frank, how is your wife?” 

“Come on, we have to take you, and oh I should have fucking known, Henry Jones down to the station.  The kid with you?” 

“What kid?”  Henry asked.

The officer pointed at Carter.  “That kid.” 

“He is not with us.  I have never seen him before in my life.”  Ivan answered. 
“All right, Kid, get the fuck out of here.” 

“But I saw what happened, shouldn’t you take my statement?”

“Ohkay, a trip to the station for everybody.” 



Later

“Oh my god, Oh my god, I am going to get kicked out of school.  My mom is going to kill me.”  Carter was sitting in the cell with Henry and Ivan on the verge of hyperventilation. 

“You didn’t actually set the school on fire, you’re going to be fine, Carter.”  Henry smiled over at the younger man. 

“You don’t understand, the school has a strict honor code.”  Carter held his face in his hands. 

“You know what kid, if push comes to shove, and you do get kicked out of school, I’ll make a berth for you in my command.” 

“What?”

“That is a rare offer indeed.  The last time you took on a new hire was five years ago?”

“The new kid with the interest in lasers, yeah.” 

“What will I tell my mom?”

“Nothing.  She worries as it is.” 

“I would not worry about getting in trouble at school, Carter.  Some day this may get to be one the stories you tell around the mess hall with your comrades.”

“How can you be taking this so lightly?”  Carter looked up at him. Ivan’s face had already started to darken with bruises and it made him look a little scarier.

“I remember the first time I was arrested.  I felt much the same way you do now I suspect.” 

“Did you lose your job?”

“No, once I explained the circumstances to my employer, he had a good laugh about it and then we went back to work.” 

“You must have had a very understanding boss.” 

“That has not been my experience in the past no.” 

“How about you, Henry, what were you doing the first time you got arrested?”

“Littering with malicious intent.”  Henry answered him. 

“What does that look like?” Carter asked him

“Sort of like regular littering, but it was my soon to be ex-girlfriends clothing...and it was on fire at the time.”

“Why would you do that?” 

“She slept with my brother and sister in my bed.  Over Christmas.”

“Oh, this was Candace.”  

“Good memory.  Yeah, that almost got me kicked out of Sandhurst.” 

“Sandhurst Royal Military Academy?” 

“Heard of it?”

“Yeah, I tried to get in but my grades weren’t high enough.  How did you get in?”

“Bribed an admissions councilor.”

“What?”

“I hope you keep that streak of believing everything you’re told.  You make the funniest face.“

“You attended Sandhurst?”

“Graduated, three times. “

“What did you study?”

“Star League history and archaeology.  Also graduated as a certified mechwarrior and then I went into business for myself.  How did you end up getting arrested the first time, Ivan?”  Henry looked up at his friend. 

“Geishas.”

“Oh right, that night you spent in the clutches of the ISF on Luthien.” 

“The ISF?”

“The Kuritan Internal Security Force.” 

“Please explain.”  Carter said slowly trying to wrap his head around the situation they were in.

“Nikolai and I were unwinding on vacation and decided to see Luthien.  We had heard of it, but not see it up close.  We ended up in a wonderland of carnal delights and somehow Nikolai got it into his head that one of the geishas was being held there against her will.  We had consumed far too much liquor and food that night but Nikolai snuck her out in my luggage.”

“Oh, right, I forgot the big blue bag story.” 

“Neither of us had expected the place to be a yakuza holding and two dozen enforcers showed up at our hotel looking for the girl.  Nikolai took her out the back while I dealt with the yaks and about ten minutes after the fight was over I was being processed at a Luthien police station for assault, kidnapping, and a host of other charges.” 

“How did you get out of that crisis?”

“Nikolai, being the jackass that he was at the time, got the girl back to our dropship and called home for help.  It took a day, and I got to ignore some unpleasant questions from some determined questioners when the local Comstar rep showed up and managed to bail me out of jail.  The charges were eventually dropped when they could not find the missing girl to press the claim that I had kidnapped her, though they did try to escalate it to a murder case for a while.  The Zetas showing up convinced them it would be a poor idea to keep me much longer.”

“Zetas?”

“Zeta battalion.”

“The Zeta Battalion?  Wolf’s Dragoons elite assault force?”

“Posers.”  Henry smirked.

“You and the Zetas have a long and mostly cordial relationship, Henry.”

“Why did the Zeta Battalion come looking for you?”

“I was sleeping with Mary at the time, and when the colonel heard what had happened, he sent them to pick us up.” 

“Mary who?”

“Mary Terrell.”

“Who is Mary Terrell?”

“She was the commander of Zeta Battalion from 3012 up until her untimely death in combat on the planet Dixie.”  Ivan answered him.

“I don’t understand?”  Carter said with a puzzled look on his face.

“I don’t know who you dumb fuck mercenary idiots think you are, but you fucked up pretty bad tonight.”  Another voice echoed down the corridor and Henry chuckled.  “You picked a fight with Alpha Regiment of Wolf’s Dragoons.  What, are you boys just stupid?”  The man turned the corner and his swagger immediately dropped. 

“Colonel Yukinov, a pleasure to see you again.”  Ivan bowed. 

“Major, what are you doing here?”

“Sitting in a holding cell while I await my day in court.  I was assaulted by the better part of a company of Alpha Regiment’s…well I would not say finest.”  Ivan answered quietly. 

“Major?”

“Oh that’s right, Ivan never introduced himself to you.  That’s Major Ivan Kirov, retired from Wolf’s Dragoons.  He’s also a Dr. Ivan Kirov, with the Federated Commonwealth ministry of education.” 

“I only consult, I do not have a role in the government.  That would be…excessive.”

“I am sure we can work this out without needing to involve the courts, Major.” 

“Call the Colonel, He and I will have words about this.” 

“The Colonel is asleep right now.”

“Then I will wait here until such time as he is awake.  I do hope I am released in time for the meeting I have with him this morning.” 
Colonel Yukinov’s face turned white and he backed away from the holding cell.  A minute later two police officer came to escort them into a different area to wait while the situation sorted itself.  Carter was amazed by the change in attitude the cops had towards them after the revelation that Ivan had been a Dragoon. 

“Here, kid.”  Henry pulled a thin metal tube out of his cooling vest and tossed it to Carter.  Carter stared at it for a moment until Henry pulled another one out.  He unscrewed the tube and pulled the cigar out cut the tip off it.  He pulled a long wooden match out from another pocket and slowly stoked the cigar to life. 

“I don’t smoke.”  Carter answered him quietly.  Henry tilted his head and just stared at the young man.  Carter finally nodded and repeated the ritual he had just seen Henry perform.  He inhaled the first puff of smoke and coughed hard.  “Oh my god this is horrible.” 

“Yeah, it takes a while to get used to that taste.  Good thing these things are addictive.”

“What?”

“Sir, you can’t smoke in here.”  One of the police officers scowled at them.  Carter started to try and find a way to put his out but Henry shook his head.

“Arrest me.” Henry answered without batting an eye.  The officer turned and left the break room they were all occupying.

“Arrest me?” Carter coughed up through another lungful of smoke.  “Where do you come up with these one liners?”

“Half the fun of being a mercenary is getting to do what other people tell you that you can’t or shouldn’t do.  If you’re going to live your life flaunting society’s rules, you better have either a mouth to talk society down or a big enough bat to ensure that no one screws with you.” 

“Which one do you have?”  Carter asked him sincerely.  Ivan laughed again.

“That ain’t funny.”  He shook his head and smiled at Carter.  “Well, most days I have a King Crab and 35 other assault class battlemechs to help me prove a point.” 

Ivan’s laughter intensified as another voice could be heard from the squad room.  “You are in trouble now.” 

“Where is he?”  A woman’s voice could be heard shouting over the rest of the noise out there.

“Shit…oh they woke her up, yeah, this is going to be bad.”  Henry let out a chuckle.

“Is that your wife?” 

“Oh, no my wife would be laughing.  This is worse.”

“Who’s that then?”

“My XO.  The responsible adult in the room.” 

“Oh, should I be hiding?”  Carter asked him quickly.

“I might, yeah.” 


Carter slipped into the back corner of the room and tried to make himself look as small as possible.  A smaller blonde woman stormed into the office with a scowl on her face and what looked like malicious intent in her eyes.  “You two are a couple of fucking idiots.” 

“Good evening Captain Jones.”  Ivan said calmly.  Her eyes swiveled to him and Carter saw a pause in his facial expression for a moment.

“You shush.”  She turned her attention back to Henry.  “Explain, now.” 

“It was a relatively simple case of mistaken identity.’

“Keep going.”

“Well then as I recall I may have made an offhand remark about Ivan’s sexual preferences regarding Wolves, and that provoked Ivan getting punched in the face.”  Ivan raised his fingers, getting ready to say something. 

Her glare prompted the only response she wanted to hear which was “Continuing to shush.”  Her eyes swiveled back to Henry.

“I can’t let Ivan take on an entire company of Wolf’s Dragoons by himself, so I had to intervene.”

“What were the two of you even doing there?  That’s a college bar?  Were you trolling for some out of town strange?”  Her eyes floated over to Carter for a moment and then back to the two of them.  “And you picked him?  Is he magical in the sack or something?” 

“Oh god, she saw me.” Carter managed to squeak.

“Really, were you two going to take him back to the office and break him in?”

“I have never cheated on my wife.”  Ivan answered her firmly.

“Hey, I have only ever invited someone else to my bed with my wife’s consent and usual willing participation.” Henry answered her. 

“You guys weren’t really trying to take me back to an office for an expression of the love between men, were you?”  Carter managed to exhale around the cigar smoke. 

“I was not.”  Ivan said with a soft smirk.

“It was a possibility, maybe down the line.” 

“But I don’t think I swing that way.”  Carter said anxiety and confusion spreading across his face.

“well, you know what they say about college?”  Henry started to mirror Ivan’s smirk.

“It’s a wonderful educational opportunity?”

“No…they don’t say that about college at all.”  Henry answered him.

“HEY.  You three done being cute?”  Sarah pulled them back to front and center.

“Mostly so, returning to being shushed.”  Ivan nodded at her.

“My dear, you know just exactly how cute I can be when I aspire to glory and this isn’t even half that.” 

“I know where you sleep at night.”

“I know, you also have the spare key to let yourself in.”

“GOD DAMN IT HENRY, YOU CAN’T KEEP DOING SHIT LIKE THIS!”  Sarah roared at the three of them. 

“Sarah…”  Henry tried to interrupt her.

“You’re not a fucking kid anymore.  You are decorated mercenary commander and a fucking instructor at two different universities.  You can’t keep getting yourself into the same stupid fights you got yourself into when you were twenty.  You’re almost sixty years old.” 

“Wow, you’re sixty?  You look good.” 

“Keep playing that card and you might find out about the expression of love between two men.” Henry winked at him.  Sarah’s eyes bugged out and the veins in her neck flared to life.  “Sarah, you know why I pay you at least twice as much as everyone else who works for me?” 

“What the fuck does that have to do with any god damned thing?”

“I pay you that way because of everyone in the unit, you are the one person I trust implicitly to be able to take care of everyone and every thing involved.” 

“The fact that you consider me a baby sitter is not winning you any points, Henry.”

“I consider you a lot of things, but that is not one of them.  A friend, a colleague, a professional, but not a baby sitter.  I prefer to think of this is an on the job training for when you either decide you have had enough of my bullshit and decide you want to run your own merc outfit, or when something happens to me and you have to take over the unit.”

“What?”

“If you can handle me at my best and worst days, you can go anywhere and run a merc company.” 

“You are such an asshole.”

“I am indeed, but I didn’t start this particular outburst of drunken mischief.” 

“That would be the defect in Alpha Regiment who thought you got his sister pregnant last month.”  Ivan said quietly.

“We weren’t even on planet last month!”

“I know, right?”  Henry shrugged his shoulders.  “We were busy on our way back from that slap fest with the Capellans.” 

“Is this going to become a thing?”

“Could you describe the nature of the thing?”  Ivan said quietly.  
Henry let out a chuckle.

“You think because you’re nine feet tall and almost seventy that I won’t climb up you, ride you down and break you like a wild stallion?”  She glared up at Ivan.

“Oh that’s hot.”  Carter looked over at Henry.  “Did you put something in my cigar?  I am not usually like this.”  Henry responded by pinching his temples and the laughter started.  Ivan followed suit and before long they were laughing so hard they were having trouble catching their breath. 

“Lefty, pay attention.  Is this going to be a thing with the Dragoons or not?” 

“I do not believe so.  If it is, it will settled almost immediately and it will not reflect on the Tombstones.”

“For fuck’s sake Ivan, use contractions!  It’s okay, you can shorten words.  God will not strike you down for using them.” 

“You should all be in the clear, Sarah.” 

“Okay…good.  Now then, I am going back to my house, getting out of this uniform and going back to bed.”

“That’s not an invitation, right?”  Henry said quietly.  “What, I’m asking for the kid?” 

Sarah turned, raised both her hands in the air and flipped them off with both hands.  “Your bail is paid, you dumbshits.  Try not to get yourselves arrested again before morning.” 

“She is a lot of fun when she does not have to be the only adult in the room.”  Ivan said with a chuckle.  “You two should go home, I still have to meet with the Colonel, and my guess is he should be here soon.”

“You sure you want to see Jamie by yourself?”  Henry asked quietly. 

“I can handle Jamie.  Go home, get some sleep.”

“All right, fine.  Carter you want to catch a cab with me?”

“Uh, sure.”

“Good, you play your cards right and I might let you feel me up on the way home.”

“What?” Carter’s expression turned ot confused panic.

“Kidding.  Besides, my wife is offworld and she would probably want to chat with you first.”

“Is he kidding?  I can’t tell anymore.”

“Henry, behave.”  Ivan said firmly.

“You are not my supervisor.”  He put his arm around Carter and they started walking towards the front door of the station.  “Besides, I think your mother might actually kill me if that happened.”

“Wait, you know my mom?” 

Ivan smiled as their conversation was swallowed up by the night.  The Colonel arrived a few minutes after that and he knew this was going to be a long, shitty conversation. 

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